And you wonder why I wrote these Boilermaker stories down.
“My aunt had a spider monkey. Spider monkeys are dirty little bastards. They shit everywhere, get into everything and bite? Man do they bite.
“So my family is having Thanksgiving dinner, and that stupid bitch of an aunt shows up with that little prick. So right there in the middle of the party my other aunt shows up with her Pomeranian.
“It’s Thanksgiving dinner, for f..@#$’s sake. And those idiots show up with their pets, on purpose.
“The Pomeranian takes one look at the monkey and takes after it. He starts chasing the monkey all over the house. Lamps were knocked over, people are screaming, the monkey bit my cousin who tried to grab it. Finally the monkey goes right through the screen on the screen door with that dog after it.
“The dog starts chasing the monkey all over the yard. People are running around trying to catch the dog, and the monkey. My two aunts are screaming at each other. The neighbors are all coming out. Shit what a mess.
“Finally the monkey goes up the hydro pole. He gets to the top of the hydro pole and reaches across from one wire to another.
“There was this huge ‘BANG!’ and a puff of smoke like a mini-mushroom cloud.
“All that was left of the monkey was a tail wrapped around the hydro wire with its stub-end swinging back and forth … smoking.
Rick Ranson 