What Are The Chances?

He looked almost like a minister; slight, bookish, almost tentative. Like a deer lost from the herd. Turns out he was a cop, an ex-cop going to university, but a cop just the same.

We got to talking about the history of London, the real history. Which is always more bloodthirsty, and interesting for that matter, than the written stuff.

“The chances of a Londoner being murdered in 2017 is 1 in 100,000. Fifty years ago that chance was 1 in 50,000. The chance of being murdered in London increases by half every 50 years so that in Shakespeare’s day your chance of being murdered was 50/50. A lot of children in Shakespeare’s time never saw all four of their grandparents.”

  • Ex London cop going to university taking history.

How To Get To Windsor Castle

“You take the Jubilee Tube and get off at Green Park. Then you get on the tube for Heathrow Airport. At Heathrow you get on a number #8 bus. The number #8 will get you right in front of Windsor Castle.”
“Is the Queen there?”
“Oh yes. If you get there early enough you’ll see her put out the milk bottles.”

Famous Last Words

“Yeah, I was the deciding vote on that jury. What’s it to you?”

“Hey everybody, watch this!”

“We’re gonna set some kind of record for this!”

“I think it’s hibernating.”

“Where’s your Mama little bear?”

“Hold my beer and watch this!”

Winnipeg Politics …1874 Style

William Luxton, the owner and editor of the Winnipeg Free Press decided to run for mayor in the 1874 election. On the ballot for mayor there where two well-known local names, William F. Luxton and Francis Evans Cornish, the former mayor of London Ontario.

In those rough and tumble times where tar and feathering political opponents was a election ploy and Members of the Legislative Assembly routinely wore pistols while they made speeches, saying that the vote count for Mayor of Winnipeg in 1874 was a little suspect was an understatement.

On a clear and frosty day when all businesses were closed except for the hotels and saloons doing a land-office trade, the vote for Mayor of Winnipeg took place.

In a town where the entire eligible voters in the 3.1 square miles of The City of Winnipeg totaled just 382 people, 741 votes were cast. 562 votes for Cornish and 179 votes for Luxton.

Understandably a little miffed Luxton called for a recount. After the recount Cornish was found to have had 179 repeat voters, and Luxton had 5 repeat voters.

Cornish was declared the winner by 34 votes.

 

 

 

The Queen (Trolling for free beer)

I was having a couple of pints in an east London pub called Moby Dick. I’d had enough beer to start feeling playful. And when it came time to settle up with the impossibly young bar maid I dramatically looked at the five pound note and said:

“Holy smokes! YOUR Queen looks exactly like MY Queen!”

It got a laugh but no free beer.

Keep trying there Ricky.